Everyday Self Care

When we hear the words "self care", we usually think of spa days and massages and vacations, or other big exciting things like that. And even though most people can acknowledge that self care is "worth it", when we think of self care as these big (an often expensive) things, it's easy to say "I don't have time for self care" or "I can't afford to do self care". 

Or, if we think about self care as a treat that we need to earn, then it can turn into a productivity trap and we say things like "oh I didn't get enough work done this week so I don't deserve to treat myself this weekend". 

The truth is, self care is something we can all benefit from doing every day, and it can be done in as little as 5 minutes at a time. It's also likely that you're already doing things that can be considered self care, you're just not thinking about it that way.

So, what counts as self care? 

The short and simple definition I like to work with is, literally anything that feels like you're taking care of yourself is self care. To get more specific, I find it helpful to break self care down into these different types or categories: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and practical. 

Physical self care is any activity you do to take care of your physical health. This includes things like:

• Getting enough sleep

• Staying hydrated or eating nutritious and enjoyable foods

• Taking a bubble bath or doing your skincare routine

• Moving your body in ways that feel good

This is a really important, foundational category, because if we aren't taking care of our bodies, we probably won't have the energy to do any other kinds of self care. 

Mental self care can be anything you do to flex your creativity or intellect. This could be things like:   

• Reading or writing

• Going to a museum or art gallery

• Painting, drawing, or creating art through any other medium

• Playing games or puzzles

This can be a tough category for most people since we're using our brains for intellectual activities at work all day, so when we get home all we want to do it turn our minds off for a little while. 

There's no shame in doom scrolling if that's what your mind and body really need, but in my personal experience that only feels good for a little while, then I wish I'd spent more time doing something I enjoy. 

If you struggle with engaging mindfully in creative tasks after a long workday, you could try setting screentime limits so you can still scroll on social media for maybe 30 minutes, then see how it feels to think about doing one of your other hobbies.

Emotional self care is the stuff you do to get in touch with or process your emotions. This can mean: 

• Journaling

• Going to therapy

• Crying

• Listening to music 

Emotional self care is another tough one since it can be emotionally exhausting. 

If you're feeling overwhelmed with an emotion, it's totally normal to want to find anything to distract yourself from it. The tricky bit is, distracting or pushing away our emotions usually just makes them push back even harder - they're like a little kid who doesn't like that you're ignoring them so they yell even louder to get your attention.

Doing things like reflecting or journaling about what you're feeling is hard because it's literally the opposite of distracting yourself - it's intentionally paying closer attention to the emotion, which usually just makes it feel stronger in the moment. Emphasis on in the moment: yes, doing emotional self care makes the feeling stronger when you're paying attention to it, but by giving it that attention and allowing yourself to process it, it will likely relax afterwards. 

This is so much easier said than done. I often work with my clients on how to practice this in a way that works with where they're at. 

Social self care includes all the things you do to nurture your relationships. Some examples of this are:  

• Getting coffee with a friend

• Calling your mom

• Setting boundaries

• Date night with your partner

Now, you might be thinking "some of those sound fun, but setting boundaries?" and I get it, I don't know anyone who likes setting boundaries. But the reality is, boundaries are sometimes necessary for relationships to continue to exist, so they count as social self care. I'm planning to write another blog about this later, and when I do, I'll link it here.

Practical self care is the stuff you do to manage your day-to-day life tasks. This is stuff like:

• Tidying your living space

• Meal-prepping

• Creating or updating a budget

• Making your bed 

This is what I meant when I said you're probably already doing a lot of things that would be considered self care. But you might be thinking "how does making the bed or sweeping the floor translate to taking care of myself?" Fair question! Let me ask you this - when you're surrounded by clutter, does that make it easier or harder to feel relaxed? If you're anything like me, a cluttered space makes for a cluttered mind. But when my space is clutter-free, I feel so much more at ease. 

Now, the thought of tidying can quickly become overwhelming. If this is you, you might find the 5-minute tidy helpful. Try setting a timer for 5 minutes, and you only have to tidy for those 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, you can check "tidied up" off your to-do list and take a break, or you might find that now that you've started, it's much easier to keep going.

Last but not least, Spiritual self care is anything you do to nurture your spirit. This could be:

• Religious activities

• Meditation or yoga

• Connecting with nature

• Playing with your pet

Nurturing your spirit is a totally individual-specific idea, so what can be included in this category is limitless. If feeling at peace nurtures your spirit, then anything that's relaxing to you is spiritual self care. On the other hand, if feeling exhilarated nurtures your spirit, maybe riding rollercoasters feels like spiritual self care.

A few final notes about self care

You might have seen some of my examples and thought "I'd put that under a different category". Or you might have a whole category of things I didn't include here. And that's the cool thing about self care - it can be pretty much anything. As long as you're thinking about it as self care, it'll feel like self care.

Another fun thing about some of these self care activities is that they can be combined to check of multiple boxes at a time. Going for a hike with friends? That's physical, social, and spiritual self care all at once. Listening to music and dancing around the kitchen while you meal prep with your partner? BAM - emotional, physical, social, and practical self care. 

I hope you found something in this post you can take away and use to spend a little more time taking care of yourself today!